Back in preparatory days, everyone seemed to be your friend. I know it because I felt like everyone is. It doesn’t matter who I am or what I do. If I say “let’s play,” the other kids would gladly join me in my game and hang out with the rest of the class.
I wish making friends would be much simpler today. But one thing I realized about being an adult is the importance of making higher-quality friends or finding those people with who you can really bond.
Yes, you can make several friends everywhere, but who can really put up with you for the rest of your life? Who can really love you as a friend, not just an acquaintance?
Now you might wonder how long is this step-by-step guide in making friends. But the truth is, you’re not going to read it that way. It’s all about the useful lessons I’ve learned for the past several years of surrounding myself with different sorts of people, and what lessons can you learn to make more friends.
Take Initiative
I get that sometimes we want to feel alone or feel important, so we allow people around us to control of our daily activities.
We let them invite us to a drive-thru dinner or a party that can fill up our weekends. Sometimes, we even choose to reject their invitation and save ourselves some personal time to breathe or to relax.
But if you keep letting other people do things for you, they might feel like they aren’t as important as you are to them. They might think, “Oh I keep asking him to join us to watch a movie, but why can’t he invite us to anything at all?”. “Why do we have to always take initiative?”. “Does he still wanna hang out with us or he’s just forcing himself.”
The thing is, you can always control your life, so it’s not impossible to consider taking control of your social life as well. If you come up with an idea and want to share it with other people, you don’t wait for them to ask you stuff. You take the initiative and share a special moment in your life.
You can set up a game night and invite the closest people in your life to participate. It’s like a game of paying back. They want to spend time with you, and you sure want to spend time with them as well.
Honesty is Still the Best Policy
We could all relate that it’s tough when other people hate us or dislike us about something that we did or said. For this reason, we tend to be extremely careful about every little thing we say. We fear voicing our opinion or acting controversial because we know that most people won’t like it.
But here’s the thing, if you are simply known as the “kind” person that everybody can hang out with, you’d tend to lose your identity and be unable to show who you are in front of people. In the end, everyone can like you, but no one can really like you for who you are because you weren’t able to imprint your identity on the people around you.
So why not break the small talks, ask people about specific topics that you’re really curious about, share your passion, and voice your genuine opinion without minding what other people might have to say.
No matter what, people can either agree or disagree with you, and it’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with it.
Rejection is an Inevitable Part of Our Lives
Just like what this subheading has to say, rejection really is a part of our lives, and there’s nothing we can do to avoid rejection, especially from the people who couldn’t completely agree with us.
You can learn the harsh lessons from rejection quickly or the long way. The former refers to acute rejection when people can freely speak what’s on their mind and can straight up say “No!”. This way, no one is wasting anybody’s time, and the truth, even though it hurts, comes off quickly.
On the other hand, the latter type of rejection or the gradual rejection gives you a more extended period to discover whether you’re really compatible with someone as a friend or partner. However, this might hit you the hard way because at first, things may go on smoothly, but in the end, you’d learn that you both don’t like each other.
It’s going to be a mess just because two people weren’t sincere right from the start and weren’t able to converse as ordinary people should.
There Would Always Be A Tribe Of People Who Like You
Many people complain that they cannot find people with whom they share the same interests or who they can really vibe with.
But if I ask you, “How much effort are you really exerting to meet the people you share alike?” How would you answer that? Perhaps, you are the type who just waits for other people to find you and be friends with them?
If that’s the case, I doubt you’ll find the tribe of people who can like you for who you are.
Typically, people look at public places to look for a friend or a partner. From a demographic point of view, why not evaluate the values you hold, the principles you believe in, and your interests, and go to the places where those people exist?
For instance, if you are a religious person, why not go to churches or worship places where you can find people of all ages who share the same beliefs?
What if you’re into sports? Then, go to intramurals, community sportsmanship, local sports fest, and join a team you can play with. I know for sure that you’ll meet people who would love to play basketball, soccer, volleyball, or any sports as well.
But regardless of where you are in the world or who you truly are as a person, the turn of events would most likely depend on you. How you treat people around you, take initiative, speak honestly, and accepting how rejection is always a harsh reality would help you to learn that there would always be a group of people that you can be truly friends with.
What about you? Which among the four points do you think you can immediately apply in your life?
