Success is often associated with an extrovert person because public speaking and networking are necessary to get to the top. This is why great speakers like Steve Jobs and Larry Ellison are the first that comes to mind whenever we hear the word ‘success.’
To be successful, it is important that you can speak with a conviction that people would want to trust, follow, and work under you. These people are so good at communication that they instantly turn a stranger into a friend. They can easily build a relationship.
However, speaking has two edges. While it can build a good relationship, it can also do more damage than good depending on the situation. Sometimes it is better to stay silent and listen, but some people don’t usually appreciate the value of silence.
Although silence can never be a skill you can boast of, it is a great habit that you can develop to lead you to success. According to studies, most successful people are listeners, which is the fruit of mastering the art of silence.
Some people are pushing that it is necessary for a person to be extroverted to be successful. However, some of the most influential and successful people today are actually introverts. There’s Mark Zuckerberg, Albert Einstein, and Bill Gates, to name a few.
Silence can be the best response in some situations. Here are the reasons why:
Your words will appear more valuable when you say less
There will always be someone around you who talks a lot. It can be your classmate, colleague at work, or a friend. Most often than not, other people rarely take these extra talkative people seriously because they talk all the time, and others get so used to hearing them.
Keep this in mind: Whatever is too common isn’t valued in a society.
Let’s take iron and gold as an example. These two aren’t that much different at all since they are both metals, yet the gap in their societal value is immense. Iron can easily be found anywhere, while gold is rare. This is the reason why we value one over another.
The concept of supply and demand is also applicable in terms of speaking. So if you talk so much (high supply), people won’t take seriously everything that comes out of your mouth (low demand).
Be careful about how much you talk. You don’t always need to speak out every idea that creeps into your mind. Try to create an aura of mystery around you by keeping your words open-ended. The less you speak, the more profound you will look.
Silence makes you unpredictable
When you meet someone new, it’s given that you’ll know nothing about them aside from the things they will say about themselves. It may be true when people say that “first impression lasts,” but don’t believe them when they say that “first impression tells so much of the real person.”
The truth is… the first impression seldom teaches a deep understanding of another person. It rarely talks about others’ real intentions, weaknesses, strengths, likes, dislikes, etc. This is why it’s pretty hard to joke around since you can’t predict how they will react.
On the other hand, when you know a person, you can freely and comfortably tell jokes at their expense without worrying about consequences because you can predict how they will react based on your past engagements.
The more you get to know a person, the more predictable they become. We are not telling you to stop befriending anybody just to be unpredictable, but you need to create the ‘unpredictable’ aura around you.
Think of it this way, if you seem too unpredictable, people around you won’t be able to joke and mess around you so quickly because they worry about how you might react.
You’re more likely to say foolish things when you talk too much
Admit it or not, you have experienced saying something that you have regretted later. This naturally happens, especially when you talk at the heat of emotion, perhaps, extreme anger or happiness.
Once you speak out a word, no matter how much you do, you won’t be able to take it back. You can try asking for forgiveness, utter your excuses, or try to make up for your mistake. But the moment you say a word, there is no delete nor rewind button. The things you say can never be erased.
Thinking twice before uttering any word is the best strategy to not make a fool out of yourself. By making an effort to practice silencing yourself, you can minimize the ruining of your relationship with someone else and the likeness of saying something that you will regret later on in life.
One of the things you should not speak out to others is your goals. Have you noticed that the more we tell others of our goals, the less likely we are to achieve them? It’s also a bit frustrating to say that you aim for something and not achieve them.
We all have the tendency to share our goals with other people. But you should also be aware that your friends might congratulate you on your goals, but no one will really care about them except for yourself. Why not let your goals speak for themselves?
According to research, it is better not to publicize your goals because you are more likely to lose the fire to achieve them. This might seem a bit strange, but this statement is backed by data.
In a study conducted by Peter Covitz, 166 people were asked to write down their goals. About half of the participants publicly announced their goal, and the other half remained silent.
People who have spoken out their goals to the public stated that they feel very closed to achieving them. Soon after, they were given a task that would lead them directly to their goal. In the task given, the only rule was they could stop anytime they wanted.
Surprisingly, those who were silent about their goals worked the entire 45 minutes with the thoughts that they still had a long way to go. On the other hand, those who have publicized their goal only worked 33 minutes on average and stopped.
Opening up your goals to the public will give you a fake sense of achievement that will spike up your pride, especially when your friends keep congratulating you. You will feel like you have already achieved them when in fact, you have not reached even half of your journey.
Silence can help you connect with others on a deeper level
Each of us craves attention, so most of the things we do are driven by the desire to catch attention. People tend to work hard to be viewed as someone who is successful in the path they take.
Attention is a limited resource, so other people resort to getting negative attention because they can get the positive ones. Hence, you can connect with others on a deeper level once you give them the attention that they are yearning for.
Every person longs for someone who will listen to their problems. So by providing the attention they need, you will be able to gain their trust. This is good, especially if they are your superiors.
In Robert Green’s 48 Laws of Power, a statement says, “Always say less than necessary.” He highlighted in the book the importance and downsides of silence. Silence sure is good, but it is noteworthy that it is a two-edged sword. It will work in your favor if you know how to use it, and you’ll suffer the damages if you don’t.
