Have you ever fallen in love? It’s one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Discovering who your partner is, and allowing yourself the opportunity to connect and trust a person. But the easiest part about it is ‘falling in love’. Maintaining the relationship, on the other hand, is the most challenging part.
So if you’re in a relationship or currently with your partner while reading this, this would create awareness on what to expect and how to cultivate love as you go through its different stages.
1. Attraction Stage
Think about those main leads in romantic films who instantly fall in love. Well, of course, it’s not really love. It’s just the first stage of relationship, the attraction.
At this stage, you’ll get the taste of euphoria or an intense feeling of excitement and happiness when you see the person you’re attracted to even if you don’t tend to know everything about them.
You tend to overlook their flaws, and all you think about is them all the time. You have these butterflies flying around in your stomach, and it seems like you cannot get enough with each other.
It’s usually the attractiveness towards what you see physically to a certain person, and seldomly towards their behavior.
2. Crisis Stage
After a few months of spending time with each other, you feel more comfortable, and things are becoming clearer. However, fantasy turns into reality.
In contrast, you don’t really like everything about the person you fell for. You started seeing the real version of them, and their likes or dislikes, flaws, and behaviors you don’t like.
What you don’t tend to notice before is making you mad! Maybe you hated the way they act around your house. You prefer to have your ‘me’ time while she doesn’t. You don’t like to talk about certain topics yet he’s very open to it.
In short, this is where the real struggle and conflicts in a relationship began. There are times that you won’t agree in different things. This is where the both of you decide whether you’re compatible with one another or not. Others easily gave up, and sadly, broke up.
But if you both still want to be with each other despite differences, this would move you to the next stage of your relationship.
3. Working Stage
This is where you work out your differences and manage stability in your own terms. There’s a possibility that both of you didn’t set your expectations right.
“He’s so perfect” or “She’s the girl of my dreams” kinda fantasy. But then you were able to communicate positively without comprising each other’s opinions and feelings. You started to talk about your goals, plans in life, how you would be able to achieve them, and what conflicts may arise.
Afterwards, you’ll navigate through streams of arguments and contradictions. To top it off, you started working together not as individuals, but as a couple. Way to go!
It’s going to be a pit of a rollercoaster ride! There are bumps, ups and downs, yet trust, love, and understanding will help you to commit to the relationship.
4. Commitment Stage
There are times that you might miss the ‘euphoria’ feeling in the first stage. It’s normal because it tends to be a temporary feeling.
At this stage, it involves more than what you can feel about your partner. The love, trust, and care for each other is much deeper than before. This is why you are motivated to commit to the relationship.
Even though there are tough times, growth comes within, and you wish to be in the hands of each other. It’s like your task of acceptance is finally done, and you both choose to accept the reality.
It’s now about TEAMWORK. You evolve, and pull each other up to success. Whatever the success one party is also your success, and vice versa.
But it’s also the beginning of something far greater – a road to a long-lasting relationship, or for most marriage.
5. Growth or Co-Collaborative Stage
You proved everyone that ‘love’ exists! Both of you were able to surpass all the challenges and personal conflicts in mind. It’s the time that you fully understand each other, the limitations, and strengths.
It’s not all about you and your partner. Your world can revolve around everything else because the relationship is on a steady foundation. No matter how strong the wind is or how loud the thunder are, you are built.
Whether you decided to move forward to marriage or just enjoy each other’s company for a while, it doesn’t change the fact that emotions, feelings, intuitions are still present.
Couples on this stage would try to collaborate with a project to make their lives and the community a better place. Visions are set, goals are met.
Keep It Going
Relationships are not handed out to you simply because you wanted to or you were just deeply infatuated. It requires a huge amount of effort and endeavor for both parties to work on, and face the challenges in their lives instead of giving up.
There are those that simply fall short. But would you let that happen? Remember, it’s not going to be easy, but if you find the right one, it’s definitely worth it.
But what about you, and your partner? Among the 5 stages of a relationship, which stage are you in already?
