Whenever you feel like you’re trapped in patterns that create problems in your life, keeping you from reaching your goal, know that it’s not always because of other people. It’s also not always others’ fault if you find yourself caged. Sometimes the very person who is sabotaging yourself is no other than you.
Self-sabotage involves destroying yourself in mental or physical practices and defacing your own abilities. There are a number of ways you can sabotage yourself. Others are obvious, while some can be a bit challenging to recognize.
The thought patterns of behavior that hinder you and hold you back from doing the things you badly want to do is one of the faces of self-sabotage. Unfortunately, we rarely notice that we are doing this to ourselves, and this is why it is essential to learn the self-sabotaging behaviors that may be the reason why you aren’t a megastar in your chosen field.
Here are the ways you sabotage yourself unknowingly:
1. You expect to be given things
Most of us grew up having parents who are willing to give us the whole world at every chance they have. Maybe, there was a time in your life when you had everything you wanted at your fingertips without even having to ask for them. However, this isn’t how the cruel real world works.
In this world, you need to work really hard to go after what you want. Unlike when you were sheltered by your parents, providing everything you needed, the world won’t be generous to you, so you need to strive hard for your dreams, goals, and aspirations.
Consistency is needed to achieve the things you want. Don’t expect things to just come to you in just one snap. The only way you can get the things that you want is to take conscious and active steps close towards your desired goal.
2. You procrastinate
Not many people are aware of this, but procrastination is self-sabotage in disguise. Whether it’s paying your bills, cleaning out the garage, getting out of bed to work out, or filing taxes on time, every one of us tends to use delaying tactics once in a while.
Procrastinating steal your precious time, which is something that you can never retrieve. It makes you believe that you have more than enough time to accomplish all the tasks at hand. However, if you keep postponing important things off your table, you’re more likely to acquire your lifelong goals.
Your reputation is also at stake when you procrastinate. If you’re known as a person who always plays a waiting game in your job, as someone who doesn’t meet deadlines well, people around you would probably detest working with you.
Procrastination can take a massive toll on various aspects of your life and can significantly impact your physical and mental health. You could even lose your job if you cannot act according to what your client is expecting of you.
The habit of procrastination carries a whole host of staggering anxiety, fear, depression, worry, burnout, guilt, and self-confidence. Hence, you should train and condition your mind to do necessary tasks on time. It could save you a whole lot of trouble in the future.
3. Believing that the things you know are enough
According to the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, “The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.” There’s so much to know about life, so if you tell yourself that you know enough, you’re setting limits on the things that you can learn and do.
The knowledge you have will not expand, and you will remain stagnant in your life and career if you continue believing that everything that you know is already sufficient. Always keep your feet on the ground and be open to new learnings.
4. Blame others when things go wrong
No one wants to be burdened with guilt, and that’s the reason why people have the tendency to put the blame on others. However, you need to understand that the things that are happening could be nobody’s culpability.
Always putting the blame on other people whenever things go south can sabotage you because this only shows that you don’t know how to take responsibility and accountability for your life — your actions and decisions.
Blaming others hampers you from moving on and learning from the mistakes you encounter. There will be no growth. Unless you learn how to acknowledge your mistakes and shortcomings, you will only sabotage yourself.
5. Pick fights with your friends
Disagreements are inevitable. Not because you are friends or so close with someone means you have to agree with everything they say because differences are just natural, and it shouldn’t be a reason to end a friendship. Healthy arguments are just fine.
However, arguments that lead to cynical talk can sabotage you. If the people around you know that you always pick a fight with everyone, you might be doing yourself a kick in the teeth.
Proving to other people that you are right won’t give you the respect that you are longing for. In fact, it could even do you more harm than good. Who would even want to be with someone who is a big threat to their quietude?
Don’t think that you are better than anyone else. You aren’t the only one who is knowledgeable, so be ready to accept that you aren’t the only one who is capable. If someone is conveying an idea that you don’t agree with, don’t take their stand personally.
