He says: I’m in a hurry! Where did you put my jacket?
She says: Oh wait let me think!
He says: What do you mean? You kept it, so you know where’d you put it?
She says: Well if you didn’t just leave it on the couch, place it somewhere neat, then must’ve found it by now.
He says: What do you mean? You should be the one to blame. This is so frustrating!
What did you observe in the conversation above? Obviously, both had their shortcomings towards one another. The husband was moved by the pressure of him having to look for his belonging while being in a hurry. On the other hand, the wife seemingly forgot where’d she put her husband’s jacket, and started to blame him for it.
Does this mean that they no longer love each other, and that there’s no way of controlling things? That’s a lie, and it’s quite alarming if you agree.
Every couple in the world always gets to that disagreement stage’ where both of them have reasons to argue, get offended, and speak what they feel like. Why’s that? It’s because marriage has an inevitable fact that they’ll experience – “tribulation in flesh”. But the good thing is, every problem or disagreement always had it’s of way of resolving things.
Scenario: Suppressing Arguments
Danger: If in instances the couple tried to keep the situation down and enter this quiet treatment while not talking about what made them offended or feel frustrated, this can worsen the situation. This is what you call counter-intuitive.
Solution: Communication is the key! It is even said that it’s the life blood of the relationship, and it is! Try to manage your anger, and be more open-minded. Set aside any pride, and try to hear your partner, what he or she has to say, and it’s within your judgement to believe it or not.
Don’t let the day go by without you sharing what you really feel with one another.
Scenario2: Lack of Time
Problem: Although it’s understandable that there are couples who work tirelessly each day just so they can provide for their family, it’s also crucial to provide a quality time for your partner. If not, the risk of unhappiness, lack of satisfaction, and even commitment may challenged.
But do not overdo it as well! This may hinder individual growth, and create a co-dependency.
Solution: It’s important to set aside a specific day or time where you can hangout and bond with one another. Just a simple meal together everyday for breakfast or dinner. A movie marathon time, or a chit-chat shows how interested you are still with each other. This will help strengthen bonds and help relationships grow.
Scenario3: Taking your Partner for Granted
Problem: Other couples have this mindset that their certain half would not try to leave them because they love each other, they need one another, or just because they’re married! The tendency is, they give a lack of attention and importance to their beloved one. As a result, arguments happen! You started neglecting even little things they do just because it was now a routine.
In some cases, they’re starting to be too unappreciative unlike before.
Solution: “Put yourself into their shoes”. Think of how must’ve they felt when you don’t give much appreciation nor commendation. Always remind how grateful you are, and how important your significant other is to you.
A simple “thank you” after they cooked is one way to do so. You can probably mix out things, instead of just saying your gratitude, surprise with a letter, flower, or even their favorite!
Scenario4: Expecting Perfection
Problem: The thing is nobody’s perfect, and why should you think otherwise? Maybe because you thought the picture-perfect theme you saw in movies happens in real-life. It may or it may not, but it certainly won’t always go on your way.
This can also be brought up in your first few dates. You and your date would tend to be pleasing as if you’re hiding your original personality. And if you found any bad habits, it would tick you off!
Solution: Be open minded and established. If the way they move around the house is annoying, go ahead, and tell them it is a respectful and loving way.
If you can compromise, do it!
Scenario5: Financial Problems
Problem: If you were used to budget everything monthly, while your partner prefers to just list down all the expenses once needed, then this is something to argue about.
This could also be one of the most common reasons why arguments happen inside your home.
It’s between your ‘earnings – spending – saving habits, – amount of control’, are most likely to cause disagreement.
Solution: Find common money habits, and try to communicate with how you’re going to budget your income well in order to be sufficient for your needs, and probably, few of your wants.
Be patient, and learn to manage finances together. It is said that learning how to divide equitably is more effective than equality. How so?
When you plan to be equitable, those who earn more, contribute more simply because they can afford to. Yet, the ration will still be the same. Unlike equality, if your partner’s income is $10,000 a month while yours is $5000, would you both give just $3000 for the expenses knowingly your partner can provide more?
After all, the money is to be spent by the necessities of you both.
Scenario6: Cheating and Lying!
Problem: This happens when your significant other starts to get interested in another person. They’d tend to lie, and eventually, cheat! Worst thing is they refused to admit it, and are non-apologetic.
This is going to be the most hurtful and traumatizing scenario in a relationship.
Solution: Of course, no one wants to lie to their partner, and much worse to cheat on them. We don’t want to suggest something that might offend you but in some cases
There are couples who take time to communicate with one another about what happened, what tends them to cheat and/or lie, and how they can resolve problems, if they’d still want to.
If you’re willing to take him or her back (suitable for both sides), then be willing to fight for it!
Figuring out different relationship scenarios, potentials, problems, and knowing how to realistically deal with it can save your relationship. These steps would help you to be more likeable at home.
Don’t take your partner for granted, and don’t expect too much. Even if your partner doesn’t do much effort like you, always try to establish things, and communicate with one another. Love, Trust, and Communication will lead you the long way!
