We all have experienced cognitive distortions. Have you ever talked down to yourself or argued with your own thoughts? If you’re not aware, you might be doing it unknowingly— remember those negative thoughts lingering inside your head? Those thoughts are what’s holding you back from success and happiness.
You need to get rid of all the negatives to be able to hold on to the positive ones. Here are the 9 damaging thoughts that hold you back:
1. It’s too late for me
Everyone around you might be doing extremely well except for you but you must remember this: It’s never too late for you until you die. Your friends might have already bought their dream homes, your childhood friend might have owned his own business— then there’s you, the one who has missed every train.
However, no matter how good things seem on the outside, you never know the full game other people are playing. You don’t know the price they had to pay for their success, and the hardships they are facing despite their grand facade.
Rather than looking at other people’s lives and comparing yours with theirs just to end up so down, you better focus on playing your own game. Every person in this world has their own timeline and so you should not stress yourself out for being too early or too late for some life matters. As long as you continue playing the game of life, you’re going to be fine.
2. It’s not for me
Most often than not, this thought emerges as a defense mechanism every time people get afraid to fail. Instead of doing things poorly, they would rather not do them at all.
Although this sounds a bit noble at first glance, this actually holds you back from doing anything productive at all. Finding something that’s meant for you would only be possible if you won’t take a step forward doing it.
3. This is beneath me
Considering some things beneath you could lead you to the path of overconfidence and egotism. Regardless of your position on the social hierarchy, always remember that you always have something new to learn from other people.
When you put too much confidence in yourself, there’s a big tendency that you would skip the fundamentals, which would cause you not to have a solid foundation of things. Things would only end up crumbling if don’t have a strong sense of intuition about things, but if you do, you would be able to do things way faster than everyone else.
Without establishing a good foundation, you would only be able to build surface knowledge and misplaced confidence.
4. Things will never work out
You can never know for sure if things wouldn’t work out unless you give your best shot in trying to make things work in the first place. If everyone in this world carries such a mentality, we wouldn’t have to chase rabbits with sticks.
Believing that things won’t work out puts you in a thinker mentality instead of a doer mentality. The world has a lot of thinkers but not nearly enough doers.
5. This is who I am
People who use the “this is who I am” game card are those that are already contented with the lowest version of themselves. If the 1.0 version of yourself isn’t steadfast, find the better version of yourself because to tell you frankly, being who you are isn’t really a defining factor. Do not allow your present inadequate self to hold you back from who you can become.
6. I don’t know how to do this
Rather than thinking that you can do things satisfactorily, you should ask yourself “how” you can do it. Avoid limiting what you know as if you have a limited memory slot. Always welcome new knowledge as they come.
Everyone begins as a beginner. Perhaps, you have also experienced not knowing something, but then you tried and found out that you can do it. Things might be difficult at first but you’ll eventually figure things out tomorrow.
7. This is fine
The ability to adapt is a good skill, but that does not mean you should always be doing it. If there are things that need to be settled, resolve them. Don’t let uncomfortable feelings linger in your head too much up to the point that you make them your reality.
If you get used to your condition, anything extra will seem too much of an effort. Settling for things because you can adapt easily can turn into a problem really quickly. Remember not to get too comfortable.
8. There are people better than me so why bother
You don’t have to be the best in the world to succeed. Take the story of Nike’s logo designer, for example. Nike’s logo was designed by Carolyn Davidson, who was still a student by that time, for just $35.
Obviously, with this little amount, it’s obvious that she’s not the best in the world. Yet, even after decades have passed, the logo she made still stands and is making an impact in the industry.
9. I don’t have an impact
Despite doing the best you can and delivering the finest work you can give, you still don’t see the impact you want to bring to the world― this is surely frustrating.
However, don’t flood your mind with such a downbeat because impacts usually have a delayed fuse and you won’t be able to actually see it until way after it’s hard to predict. Just keep trusting the process.
